We Listened to Miami Sports Talk, So You Didn't Have To
A lot has been made of how crazy Cleveland sports radio has been of late. The LeBron James talk has whipped the locals up into a frenzy, the story goes. The tweets of cupcake factories as well as those of street wear models are being taken as gospel. Guests are being put on their air when their sole credential is their brother once met James at a Benihana. Every segment is preceded by a chorus of Skylar Grey singing, "I'm Coming Home."
Okay, that last thing might be true.
However, it's not like Miami sports talk has been an island of sanity. In fact, we sampled WQAM today and heard the following:
Caller "Craig" insisted that LeBron will stick with the Miami Heat because, "People get settled into a situation, and moving is kind of stressful, you know?" (To his credit, Craig did eventually acknowledge that James still has a home in Akron, but not before also criticizing Dan Gilbert's "witchcraft letter.")
Although not accusing the Cavaliers owner of consorting with the dark forces, caller Rick also felt LeBron was staying put. "Does LeBron go home for the better future, or stay in Miami and take the status quo? Well, the status quo is alternating years winning championships and making it to the finals every year."
Now his point about the Cavs' roster being unproven is fine, but apparently the Heat are guaranteed to take the title this upcoming season, because they'll play for it in an odd year?
It had the hosts of the Guzio and Donno Show wondering if all this was necessary. "That's what I haven't understood with any of this. Opting out? It puts pressure on Pat Riley? The guy knows he needs to make moves."
They also wondered if pitching the idea of playing with Kyrie Irving and Andrew Wiggins was such a great move for Cleveland. "That is a big mistake for the Cavaliers. You're going to sell future to LeBron? He wants to win now."
Actually, he probably wants to win now and in the future, but that's not the pitch you want to use if you're selling the Heat.
Next on the air was Adam Kuperstein and former Dolphin Channing Crowder. Crowder, you may remember once said...well, some not very nice things about Cleveland.
He continued playfully tearing into the city again today. "They usually sit there and watch the Cavs win 30 games and the Cavs win 5. Cleveland's a tough place to live, man." That, he said, is why they're so excited about the thought of LeBron returning.
It's more than excitement, assured his co-host. It's downright delusion. "They think because a cupcake shop has reported LeBron James is coming, because some random dude tweeted that all the Cavs players think LeBron is coming, they all believe this is happening."
Cupcake shop is apparently Chris Broussard's new nickname.
Cleveland has replaced Miami as my frontrunner to land LeBron James...
— Chris Broussard (@Chris_Broussard) July 7, 2014
Finally, The Marc Hochman Show with Zach Krantz opened with a nearly 4 minute musical tribute to LeBron, starting with James announcing his Decision four years ago today.
After that, they got a little bit distracted watching the beautiful women of Brazil mourning their team's performance at the World Cup. "A Brazilian wax is surely better than a German wax," Hochman assured us.
It was crazy, passionate sometimes contradictory conversation...In other words, just like the discussion going on in Cleveland, it was pretty fun.